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Happy Communicate Monday!
Unfortunately people cannot read our minds and without God’s help, they cannot see our hearts. We can have great intentions and they be missed because of communication.
Relationships if they are to grow and thrive require conversation-dialogue-speaking of expectations-setting boundaries-checking in-listening to someone else’s perspective with the intent to understand not just be understood or right.
I am an internal processor who tends to gravitate to written communication so I can go back and review what I wrote, pray over it, and only send if there is peace. Some people are verbal processors and external processors. They want to verbalize everything and talk, talk, talk it out. I value both because love is doing what is best for the other person, not just doing what best fits us.
Either way, people don’t know what is going on inside our heads and hearts if we do not communicate. It can be challenging if you are not confrontational to step up and say, “This impacted me this way. You may not have meant it this way, yet this is what I experienced from my vantage point.”
It is also humility to listen to someone else’s perspective and not be defensive-you misunderstood, don’t be easily offended, etc...when we listen, it can help us grow.
If we miscommunicated God’s love for someone, a proper response is, “I ask for your forgiveness for any ways I did not demonstrate God’s heart for you.” Asking for forgiveness is taking ownership of our choices.
Short story: when I was little, the neighbor kid lost all her hair. I asked her what happened to her hair. She began to cry. My mum made me apologize to her. I did not intentionally say it to cause harm, I was curious. My mum told me, “Erin when your words or actions damage someone else, take responsibility for yourself. You did not mean to hurt her, yet that does not mean she is not hurt.” My playmate was thankful to know I was not making fun of her newly bald head. Our relationship was restored. I believe it was restored because my mum made me apologize, take ownership of what happened, and humble myself. I was 5 years old.
What we don’t communicate festers, it does not heal. Misunderstandings can be overcome with communication. People can’t see our good intentions. They see what we show them and hear what we tell them.
If there is something in your heart that needs communicated? Is it festering? Why not set a time to get it out, clear the air?
Warmly,
Erin Lamb